When I Was Young; Is Simple Really Simple?
Posted: Sunday, November 20, 2011
by Jean Horst
When I was young, I remember a simple life, but what does simple mean? It can mean "easy" or "uncomplicated". I think many adults remember their growing up years that way. Was it really like that? My parents shielded me from a lot of things so I remember it as an uncomplicated time when things were black and white. That's what parents are supposed to do. I am sure that for my parents it was neither uncomplicated nor easy.
Our life was very simple, we didn't really go anywhere except to church and the houses of extended family members. Every 3 or 4 years, my dad would scrape together enough money to take us on a real vacation; to the Great Lakes area, to Maryland's Eastern Shore, to New England, then, wonder of wonders, Florida! My memories are almost all good. Simple memories but good ones.
I know too, that I craved more complexity - human interaction and adventure.
“When I was young, my parents gave me the great gifts of love and
respect. Those are the things of great value to me and those are the
things that make my memories sweet.”
I didn't know it then, but we were quite poor. Just as I was born, the 6th child in 10 years, my parents were in the process of declaring bankruptcy and selling their farm after a years-long drought made it impossible for them to continue. Around the time I turned two, they had to sell everything, move back to their home town and depend on the kindness of family and strangers to rebuild their lives. They were buried under a mound of debt. The fresh food that we were fortunate enough be able to grow in our garden was quite literally a matter of survival. I remember long summer hours planting, weeding, picking, peeling, seeding, shelling, canning, and freezing all manner of vegetables, fruit and meat for us to eat for the rest of the year. I was blessed to have parents who knew how to do all of those things. There simply would not have been enough money to buy all the food needed to feed us at the grocery store.
My mother did not like to shop, while I loved it. Somewhere in my early teens, she began giving me the grocery money and letting me do the shopping for those items that couldn't be grown or raised on the farm. She would give me $20 per week. That is not a typo, she had $20 per week for staples for what was by then "only" a family of 6. She told me if I could get her grocery list for less, I could pick out whatever else I wanted. That was the catalyst that launched my love for bargain hunting! If I could get the flour cheaper, I might be able to buy chips or cookies. She and I were both very happy with the arrangement.
My parents didn't tell me our family's backstory until I was 16 or 17 years old and by that time, they had struggled back to a more normal situation. It actually was a surprise to me that we had been so poor. As the Bible says, "love covers a multitude of sins". My childhood was happy, I felt secure with my parents and siblings, so the money situation just didn't really impact my thinking much. I loved my family and felt loved in return but what I remember as an unthreatening, stable time was in my parent's reality a stressful tightrope of juggling bills and daily responsibilities.
When I was young, I thought life was simple, but I've never wished to return to those "simple" times of my childhood. Those times were uncomplicated for me but they were not easy for my family. When I was young, my parents gave me the great gifts of love and respect. Those are the things of great value to me and those are the things that make my memories sweet. Those gifts remain with me today and their value has in no way diminished with age. I am still fascinated with people's stories and still read everything I can get my hands on. I made it off the farm to the suburbs but still hope to someday live in an urban area where I don't need a car. The world has changed a lot since I was young but I'm quite all right with that!
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Very interesting article Jean. Yes if we have love in our family, life is bearable. We can face life and all its burdens.That's so true! Thank you so much for reading and commenting, David.
Jean, you apparently had a very interesting childhood. :-) It parallels mine to a certain extent. One of the primary differences, though, is that I grew up in the housing projects of a small town, vs. the rural setting you were raised in. The only time I ever saw a farm animal was on TV or when we visited aunt's and uncle's farm 300 miles away.
The housing projects were much different then. There was not much crime and certainly no gangs, and the residents were more dignified that they are nowadays. They respected each other and the property they were entrusted with. I woundn't have known we were poor if my parents weren't constantly reminding us kids of that fact. Until I started school, I thought everyone lived like we did.
I have fond memories of those carefree summers when we had nothing to do but to laugh, play, and roam through the neighbor with the other kids, and the times during the winter when we were "snowed out" of school and spent the days playing in the snow and/or playing indoor games. Of course, all of that eventually give way to work and responsibility, which have long since chased away many of the simple pleasures of life. While I would not actually want to return to days of my childhood (although I used to think that I would like to), I do long for that simplicity. One of my major goals is to eventually be able to recapture some of it, even just a little."Interesting" is a very good word for my childhood, Terry. I've tried to explain to my kids how it was and they smile and nod but it's so far out of their frame of reference, they are mostly humoring me. We had a tub but no shower. One bathroom for 8 people and no central heat. We had two large kerosene stoves downstairs with stovepipes running through to give a little heat to the upstairs in the winter.
I think my ideal now would be to have a half an acre plot of land for me to dig in the dirt but with a city just over my back fence. :)
I loved reading your story, Jean. So pigs can't be ridden, huh?!
I especially enjoyed how your parents protected you from their problems, and that your mother let you spend on yourself anything you could save in the shopping. So many parents who struggle aren't able to stop themselves making their children share the burden or even feel guilty.
Much better to have got lots of love and respect in the absence of money than for it to have been the other way round... Of course I hope the day comes when you can have tons of both at the same time! (Hey Google, are you listening)If you can ride a pig, sister, you've got major skills! LOL
My parents are really great people. I did benefit from being their last child since I got a lot more time with them than my older siblings did. My mother and I are quite different personalities and our relationship has always been very symbiotic. She gave me a lot of leeway to do things - especially since it was usually the things she didn't enjoy - consequently I learned to handle a lot of responsibility at a young age.
Thanks for reading, Jen!
Easy to read, and you were blessed with the parents and siblings you had.Yes, I very much was, Elle! Thanks so much for your comments.
Very nice hearing about your childhood. I love it that you never knew you were 'poor'. You were rich in every sense of the word. Great article.Thanks, Brianna, I had an interesting childhood, definitely! It is the foundation of who I am on so many levels. I'm sure I'm not even aware of it all.
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