What Makes A Mother?
Posted: Tuesday, May 01, 2007
by Jean Horst
I'm a lucky girl. You see, I have two Mothers and every year on Mother's Day, I remember them both and send cards and notes to both of them in gratitude for all they have helped me become.
I was born in a rural area in a farming community. My mother taught me the difference between an iris and a daffodil. She showed me how to plant a garden and a tree. She taught me how to keep the whites from turning pink in the wash and how to cook a pot roast. She modeled calm in the midst of the chaos that is a family of eight. She showed me how a quiet spirit brings respect from the most bombastic person. I grew up in awe of her. I was so different in personality and gifting than she that I thought I could never be like her. I talked too much, I talked too loudly. I could never just sit and "take" injustice. I became defensive and sometimes offensive in my quest to be taken seriously.
After a year of marriage, my husband and I packed up and moved halfway across the United States. Not only was it different geographically - it was a cultural world away! From the farm to the city; from the Northeast to the Southwest; from the cold to the heat; from the taciturn to the gregarious. I was in heaven! I felt like I had come home - people who were like me! People who smiled at each other on the street! People who liked strangers! People from all over the world in one place enjoying the differences instead of picking at the unusual. And then I met my second Mother.
She taught me how to put more than 3 pieces of flatware on a table setting. She taught me how to decorate a room for a party and how to put people at ease. She taught me how to accept myself and be at peace. She taught me the difference between being a doormat and being gracious from strength. How to tell trendy from classic. How to spot a great bargain at a resale shop in the midst of junk. She modeled how to constructively "disagree" with ones husband. She showed me that giving creates a healthy flow through life, hoarding brings stagnation. She taught me how women of great faith change their marriages, their children, and their world. She showed me how to accept that God loved me as a special and unique creature and I could love that person too. In doing so, I could serve without being diminished.
My first mother has 6 children, 12 grandchildren, and 8 great grandchildren. We all adore her. My second mother has one natural birth child that she had to give up for adoption and has never found. But I have lost track of the number of girls like me that she has mothered, and she is equally adored by us all.
I know from experience that motherhood takes many forms. I would not be who I am without both of these women. Each of them gave me unique and vital parts of themselves. I call, write and send each of them "grandchildren" photos. And each year on Mother's Day, I send notes and flowers and special things to both of them.
Now at the mid point of my life, I see that I am a product of two Mothers. I am blessed beyond words. Two Godly and loving women with different personalities and lifestyles have given me irreplaceble parts of themselves.
Mothering is more than giving birth and raising a child by blood or adoption. For some women, mothering is their spiritual gift and a way of life. How blessed I am to have had more than one Mother.
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More commentsJean, a beautifully shared and well-written article. What makes it even more profound, I feel, is your cherishing the blessing you've been given. Thank you for sharing.Avis, Thank you for you kind comments! I am incredibly blessed, indeed!
Hi Jean, what a wonderful tribute of love you have given to both of the Mothers you have been blessed with. Isn't God amazing?! He knew exactly how to bless you when you moved to another part of the country, and in so doing helped to complete the woman He created you to be. Blessings to you, and your two Mom's on this coming Mother's Day!Lori, You are absolutely correct! Only God could have orchestrated all of the pieces in that way. I have seen it over and over in so many other circumstances throughout my life. It is always amazing! Thank you for your comments and encouragement. Blessings to you as well!
What an eloquent account of an extraodinary blessing. Thanks for sharing.Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment Steve!
Jean, You write so beautifully. Makes me wish I knew your moms. Bob AlexanderYou would love them both, I'm sure!
Jean, As they say, it takes a village to raise a child. LOL. Nice work!So true James - I still try to make the village proud! :-)
Jean, I really enjoyed your article! I'm so happy Lorrie told me how to get to your website! I find myself having to rely on godly women at church to fill the "Mom" hole in my heart. God is good to always have what we need when we need it! Love you!Welcome to SearchWarp, my friend!
hi jean, thanks for such a nice article, and well writen. i lost my mom at 59, but her sister has taken over, she lives in kingwood, texas, actually. we talk once a week, and she does all the worrying and making suggestions my mom would do, so i know what you mean. best regards, sue thomThanks for reading Sue!
Jean, thank you so much for joining my fan club otherwise, I might never have found this article. You *really* need to find more time to write. Not only were the insights enlightening, it was also so very well written and easy to read. My mother died many years ago and I miss her still. Even so, from time to time, when my life is not going so well, I am prompted to remember all the "mistakes" she made in raising me. Your article has reminded me that the good things far outweigh the bad. Thanks!Dianne, Thank you for reading and leaving such an encouraging comment. I am so honored that my article meant so much to you. I am pretty much a "passion" writer. I write whenever something grabs me and just won't let go. Then I have to write so I can have some peace in my brain. :-) My "moms" are among my most treasured blessings & I hope to be able to pass along the things that I've been able to learn in life to others, the way they did with me. Thanks again, Dianne!
love this article jeanThank you so much for reading and commenting, Kathy! Nice to hear from you.
I loved this article Jean, and what a tribute to both of your mothers I must say!!! I adore my mother "May God Rest Her Soul", I'm not sure if you had read my tribute to my mother, both in a article, and in poem, but mine meant allot to me, and as you well know, most folks only have one mom, you were lucky to have two. I miss my mom deeply, and think of her everyday....I send up several balloons every workday, with messages on them to my deceased mom, and my deceased 3 year old grandson who died of a bad heart. I am really glad you do that every mothers day, honor and cherish them while you can......Great article....Your friend in pen.....Gary.Gary,
I so appreciate your sweet comments about your mother. I'm so glad my article was meaningful to you! Blessings to you, my friend.
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